Waiting...

Waiting on God. Not always an easy place to be in. Especially when I feel I already know what I need to be doing. I feel that I know what God wants for me, but They don't see me as being able to know right now. My response? First, disappointment. I wanted them to share with me in this, not throw every reason they can at me and make it so that I feel they don't understand me. Second, anger and frustration. Now I feel they are denying me this, that they are attempting to control me, though they will say that they do not. They say they do these things because they love me and they wouldn't be able to call themselves good parents if they didn't voice concerns over this. And I can understand that, to an extent. I also feel that they need to stop judging me so harshly. They expect me to live up to their lofty standards, but that's not me, and in their stubbornness, they won't see it until after it is done. So much of me wishes that they could just be happy for me and support me like they have said they would, but instead they have caused me to come to a place where I feel more alone than I have in a long time. So what am I going to do about all of this? Draw closer to God. In this time of feeling alone, refine my relationship with him and feel closer with him. There's always room for improvement, especially in my life. I just hope that all of this is not in vain and my reason for doing this is still here when I'm done.

Stop. Watch. Pray.